By becoming more mindful of the stories running through your mind, you’re able to take an objective view on how those stories makes you feel, and then decide if they’re worth keeping around or not. If they’re not, choose to let them go.Trying to ignore the problem....
Reframing, self-love, and compassion are the three tools I use to help guide me through anxiety and depression. It’s all a learning process, but I can confidently say that this has helped me so much more than self-medicating or trying to ignore the problem.
Here's the thing. People with anxiety issues cannot do things the same way as people who do not have anxiety issues. Depending on the triggers and the situations involved, sometimes it can happen. But the reality is, if you're unable something like how everyone else is doing it, then you'll likely always have trouble (to varying extents) doing that.
A big part of why I haven't gotten frustrated with life and walked away years ago was because I realized and accepted that fact - that no matter how much you want to do something, it just might be undoable the way that you want it done.
Trust me. It isn't fun watching or hearing about someone behave a certain way towards others and then not have them do that for you. It's very painful and hurtful, in fact, especially when you care deeply for them.
There's a whole litany of things that I've had to deal with on my end. The things that have literally gone through my head repeatedly: Why can you call that person, and not me? Why can you text that other person, and not me? Why can you talk to her, and not me? Why can you do all this stuff with other people, and not with me? Why does everyone else get your attention but me?
Every person wants to feel special, but not like that. "If he doesn't want to go out of his way for me like he apparently does for everyone else, then clearly he isn't interested in me, so I should move on." If it weren't obvious in other ways that there are anxiety issues going on, then yeah - that would be a big sign that it's not going anywhere. So I console myself with accepting the anxiety and believing that it's not done deliberately or on purpose. It's called having faith in others, I guess.
I suppose other women who aren't as observant would probably still think that he wasn't interested in them because of the lack of direct attention, frankly.
Regardless, that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to accomplish goals. The first step is accepting the elephant in the room as being there, and then figuring out how to work around him. Realize that there are ways to get what you want, but doing them how everyone else does them is just not going to work for you. And that's okay.
And this is why I keep harping on the fact that you're going to have to do things you hate to get the job done. It doesn't matter if you like it; it only matters if it's effective. But in order to be effective, you have to stop ignoring the issue.
You might be this close to getting it done, but then again, you might always BE this close to getting it done. If it didn't work the first 10 times, then it probably won't work the next 10 times. Stubbornness and tenacity are all well and good, but when taken too far, they're a waste of time and energy that can be better spent looking for workable solutions.
Frankly, there's not a lot of time to waste on dead ends when the clock is ticking and the sooner you do something the better it'll all turn out.
So, accept it: anxiety is a fact of life. Panic attacks are a fact of life. Doing something like how everyone else does it is not going to happen, which is also a fact of life. And all of that is perfectly okay, so long as you acknowledge it and then leave it behind to work on things you actually can do.
A method of communication - which I think hasn't been seriously considered, despite me having mentioned it a few times over the years - is a video message, where the link delivered (emailed or Twitter direct message) by someone else. Not necessarily Snapchat or Instagram, since those might not allow for enough time?
Anyways, I think videos can work; I've seen that, at least. And, they can be made private, too. The weak link in all of that has always been the delivery part of things, but I think that part may have been solved...?
And then, what I've also mentioned before: coming to find me in person, and asking someone to pass along messages. Again, maybe not an ideal way to go, but they're still doable. At this point, no one can afford "ideal", anyways, so doable it must be.
Nevertheless, the actual blogged linked to above is a good read for those who deal with anxiety issues. Self-compassion is never a bad idea for anyone, really, no matter what they're going through. So do yourself a favor and treat yourself better. If you wouldn't let a friend talk trash about themselves, then why would you do that to yourself?